


The Arc of Ascension, Fragment s11,1: Believe In Me (As I Believe In You)

by bzarcher, solarbird



Series: Of Gods and Monsters [57]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Aftermath, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Ecopoint: China Sea, Emotional Support, Encouragement, F/M, Female Character of Color, Loneliness of Command, Oasis (Overwatch), Post-Talon, Recovery Is Not A Straight Line, Relapse, Responsibility, Self-Worth Issues, Talon Lena "Tracer" Oxton
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-24
Updated: 2018-09-24
Packaged: 2019-07-16 12:32:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16086167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bzarcher/pseuds/bzarcher, https://archiveofourown.org/users/solarbird/pseuds/solarbird
Summary: The new gods have risen, ready to grapple with a world of heroes. Moira O'Deorain herself has been reborn, now made one of the creations her previous self meant to rule, and she works with her wife - the goddess Mercy - and their ensemble of new deities to remake the world, toimproveit... for everyone.Sometimes being the Goddess of Compassion means asking for someone else's help, because Mei is in no shape to do this alone.Of Gods and Monsters: The Arc of Ascensionis a continuance ofOf Gods and Monsters: The Arc of CreationandThe Armourer and the Living Weapon. It will be told in a series of eddas, sagas, interludes, fragments, texts, and cantos, all of which serve their individual purposes. To follow it as it appears,please subscribe to the series.





	The Arc of Ascension, Fragment s11,1: Believe In Me (As I Believe In You)

_[Recovered Text Message Log]_

**Lena:** She asked to be alone, after breakfast. I've respected her wishes. I'm glad you could get a flight here so quickly, though - wouldn't want her to be alone too long.

**Hanzo:** Thank you for contacting me directly. I did not expect that.

**Lena:** Well. Wasn't hard to catch how you two looked at each other. Wasn't sure, but... yeh.

**Hanzo:** The captain says our flight is on schedule, and we will be landing in just over half an hour. How do I get to your apartment, upon arrival?

**Lena:** Don't worry about that, I'll be waiting for you at the airport. She won't be, though - she's in the guest room. Once you're here, I'll stay out of the way.

_[April, 2079]_

Despite all the reassurances that Angela and Lena had sent about Mei-Ling’s condition, Hanzo had feared for her as he flew to Oasis.

He remembered the way his anger and grief had consumed him throughout his exile. How the taste of sake had been both his balm and his bane, all too often sending him deeper into darkness. 

As he made his way out of the private terminal to where he could see Tracer waiting for him, he quietly resolved himself to give her the kind of support he had never been fortunate enough to receive. 

Oxton had been pleasant enough, and he was fairly sure he’d responded in kind, but his thoughts were elsewhere. It seemed they had barely left the airport before he found himself hesitating to knock at the door of the room they had given to Mei for her temporary stay.

His hand almost seemed to move of its own accord, giving two sharp knocks that seemed far louder than they should have been.

Mei’s voice sounded dull and tired through the door, far from her usual delighted enthusiasm or quieter thoughtfulness. “I’m still full from breakfast, Lena.” 

Despite his concern for her, he chuckled and pitched his voice to carry through the door. “Fortunately, I did not bring any food.”

He heard a cry of surprise before the shuffle of footsteps, and Mei was through the door almost before it finished sliding open.

“I’m so sorry! I thought - I forgot - I mean I knew you were coming but the _time..._ ”

“It is alright,” Hanzo assured her as he drew her into a reassuring embrace. “You have nothing to apologize for.”

He felt Mei’s sigh more than he heard it. “We both know that’s not true.”

“Then I will say that you have nothing to apologize to _me_ for.”

“Thanks.” She stepped back with a sniffle, but he was glad to see there were no tears in her eyes. “So, ah... would you like to come in?”

“I would be happy to.” 

She flipped the lights on as they went back inside, and Hanzo shut the door behind them before settling on the floor in _seiza_ while Mei-Ling took the bed. 

Before she could speak, he held up a hand. “Before anything else - we do not have to speak about anything you do not want to.” 

Mei nodded, but didn’t shy away from it. 

“I couldn’t say no.” Her voice was heavy with frustration and self-loathing, and it hurt to hear them drag every syllable down. “They kept asking, over and over, and finally... I had one. Then two. Then…” She shook her head, her shoulders slumping, unable to finish her sentence.

“A relapse,” Hanzo said gently.

“A drunk mess,” Mei replied, and he wasn’t sure he wanted her to clarify if she meant the situation, or herself. “If it wasn’t for the stuff Lena gave me, I wouldn’t even know how I _got_ here.”

Hanzo tried not to stiffen up. “Stuff?” She seemed to be acting normally…

“Some kind of hangover cure Angela created,” Mei explained, her eyes brightening slightly. “Lena told me it contains some compounds to help boost recall of memories. It really works! I felt amazing after I took it, but…” She sighed as her expression fell again. “It may work a little _too_ well.”

Hanzo considered that, then reached out to take her hand. “Your memories were not... altered?” 

Mei shook her head as she squeezed his fingers. “No. I can’t imagine anything they could make up being worse than the truth anyway.” She let go of his hand to rub at her temples, her face screwing up with frustration. “If I'd accepted the _whole_ offer, I... I could have _saved_ them. It was bad enough already, until, until I read... and that's, that's... that's why I...”

She shuddered, curling inwards. "I could have _saved them_."

“No,” Hanzo said gently, reaching out, hand on her knee, near the edge of the bed. “You could not.”

“But I _could_ have!” Mei gestured out towards the rest of the apartment. “ _They_ could have, and if I was like them…” 

Hanzo shook his head. “Even _they_ have limits. If you had been like them - if you had swam to the men in danger... would you have been able to stop the machine from crushing them?”

“If I’d found them, gotten them back to the Ecopoint faster,” Mei insisted, “they could have been saved.”

He stood smoothly, reaching out to help her from the bed. “You should not do this to yourself. Even if you had taken the offer - let them alter you - there is no way of knowing. There is no shame in grief, but you should not find more reasons to blame yourself.”

“Angela said... something like that. Sort of.” Mei let Hanzo hold her, shaking against him as he offered her his quiet strength. “Everyone’s been so nice. I think that’s the worst part. Knowing I made all those mistakes. Cost them so much. But they keep telling me it’s not my fault.” 

Hanzo tilted his head slightly. “Mistakes?”

Mei made a snuffling little groan. “I should have made certain that the rescue teams would stay pressurized until everyone was confirmed inside. I could have established better emergency protocols. I _swore_ I wouldn’t let Antarctica happen again, but I still lost them.”

Hanzo hummed thoughtfully. “Ah. May I ask you some questions about what happened?”

“...I guess so, sure.”

“Did you order the rescue teams to begin depressurization?” He'd asked for, and received, a detailed briefing en route, and already knew the answer, but she needed to hear herself.

Mei was quiet for a long moment. “No. I didn’t.”

“Did you put emergency protocols in place for contingencies you could have expected?”

“We did,” Mei admitted reluctantly. “We do.” 

Hanzo gave a grunt. “And you certainly did not dispatch that machine.” 

A dismissive snort. “No - of course not!”

Hanzo nodded, keeping his voice quiet. “Then none of what happened was under your control.” 

“I’m the head of the project,” Mei insisted. “I’m the director of the facility. In the end... it _all_ comes back to _me_.”

“And it is good for you know that, and to care about those who serve under you - but you must also recognize that you cannot oversee every person, all the time, and even if you could, no one would appreciate that anyway."

"But..."

"But nothing." He pulled her closer. "You have all chosen an extraordinarily worthwhile endeavour - but also, a dangerous one. Every person who signed on knew there would be risks - and each of them nonetheless chose to follow you there, and accept that risk, because it is _important_ work, for everyone.”

“It’s hard for me to see it,” Mei admitted with a sigh. “I just keep feeling like I screwed up again... and then to start drinking... I feel like I threw everything away.”

“You had a moment of weakness,” Hanzo finally said. “A slip backwards and, yes, there were consequences. But none of them erase the work you have done. The progress you have made.” 

She nodded, the motion soft against his jacket. “...I want to believe it, but I don’t know if I can.” 

Hanzo gently separated himself so that he could look into her eyes. “Then believe... that I believe it, and have, perhaps, some faith in my judgement. If you cannot, right now, have faith in yourself... have some faith in _me_.”

“...oh,” Mei murmured a moment before their lips met. “...okay.” _Maybe_ , she thought, as she leaned into his strong body, _maybe, I can manage **that**._

**Author's Note:**

> This is the twenty-seventh instalment of _Of Gods and Monsters: The Arc of Ascension_. To follow this story, [subscribe to the series via this link](https://archiveofourown.org/series/972024), rather than to the individual works.


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